10/31/2023 0 Comments 1970s soft rockI was in a state of shock and doubt about the quality of our love and of our marriage. The mourning and grieving took on many complications for me. He also had his own set of secrets, which I realized afterwards. He left me both in physical form and also with so many unanswered questions and no decisions in mutual consultation. It was a kind of object loss, in the most clinical of terms. Jeanne Heuving “Being in Love and Writing Love,” The Transmutation of Love and Avant-Garde Poetics,įor many months after my husband Dale died I was in a fixed state of grieving amongst these “clouds of solitary voices.” I felt like I was sleepwalking through time, wishing that we had one last, final conversation. In the case in which object loss is responded to in ways similar to those of mourning, the poet’s love writing could initially sustain or even intensify feelings of love, but eventually those feelings would lessen as the poet comes to transfer energies devoted to his beloved back to himself, or changes object libido back into ego libido. You, sleeper, who is awake, why not listenįor above you are clouds of solitary voicesįrom Freud’s analysis of grief and melancholia, it is possible to see how the experience of unrequited or unavailable love could lead to a writing in which the poetic speaker through positioning himself as the lover enhances his capacity to write poetry.
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